Have you seen my tennis ball? The yellow one...I feel like stripping the rest of the fuzz off of it, then biting it 'til it busts almost in half. I started the process a few days ago and lost interest, but today's the day I'm gonna finish it off. I'm just in that kind of mood...
"The yellow tennis ball? I just saw Maggie with that..."
Maggie has it? That's funny!! What would Maggie do with a tennis ball? Tennis balls are retriever things...it's in our blood, the whole retrieving thing...carrying stuff with our soft mouths. Tearing the fuzz off is my own twist on the habit, but definitely still a 'triever thing. Maggie's a dachshund, and a mini one at that. She would probably need a mini tennis ball to even get it in her mouth, but she would probably just look at it, anyway.
OH MY GIANT POODLE! Maggie has my tennis ball! And what is she doing to it?? She's pulling the fuzz off of it, then nibbling the rubber part into tiny bits! Not fair! She doesn't RESPECT THE BALL...Where's the tradition in a dachshund destroying a tennis ball??
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It's painful to watch, yet I cannot look away.....
 What do I do? I could take it from her...but that's sort of aggressive...not my style. Plus, she could snap at me, and that would hurt my feelings. |  What would Sophie have done? Hmmm...She would have "poodled" me, by pretending there was something more exciting than a tennis ball in the other room, then she would have run back and snatched the ball when I left it to investigate the other room...but I'm not even a little bit poodle, and what's better than a tennis ball anyway? Well, food and car rides, but I don't have any food right now and I don't know where they keep the keys. |  I guess I'll just wait 'til she's done with it. |
Finally! ...but now there's only a half left, and what's left is all spitty and wet, and not in a good way...
Never mind. I'm over it...
"Teddy...I scraped up your tennis ball. You're not going to l like it. Sorry, buddy. I'll get you a new one at the store. Here...have a piece of cheese...better?"
I'm okay. Cheese makes everything better, but could you keep Maggie away from my sock monkey?
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