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Remembrance Ceremony

8/16/2013

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On a Saturday in May, The Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center, through its Honoring the Bond program, hosted a Remembrance Ceremony for all the pet patients that they treated and lost in the preceding year. We lost Sophie last October 26th, following surgery for a tumor in her lung, so we were invited to participate. 

It took place in an auditorium in the vet hospital which I never knew was there (along with a Subway, which I also never knew was there, despite having nearly starved to death multiple times while camping out at the vet hospital waiting room during marathon visits. )

When we arrived, we were greeted by very kind volunteers and comfort dogs, and given a bag with Sophie's name on it which contained a copy of the slideshow that was to be presented, a small candle, two rocks with "Sophie" written on them, and a package of forget-me-not seeds. The auditorium itself had more boxes of tissues in one room than I have ever seen, with the possible exception of Costco.
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There were words of welcome, then a first-year resident vet from OSU (who had also lost a pet in the past year) spoke on gratitude, for our pets and the people who help us care for them, and for the people who help us say goodbye to them. The next speaker was from Schoedinger Pet Services (a funeral home in Columbus that provides cremation services for beloved pets). She spoke on getting through the loss of a pet. One of the many things she discussed in her speech was her belief that ignoring grief results in bitterness, while embracing it, even though it hurts, deepens your soul. The third speaker was a veterinarian who has a practice that specializes in at-home euthanasia. She spoke about finding the courage to say goodbye. In between the speakers, the College of Veterinary Medicine chorus (who knew!?), called "The Hoofbeats," sang two songs, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Homeward Bound" (not the Simon and Garfunkel song), just in case we didn't cry enough during the speeches.

When the speeches were over, the remembrance slide show was played. Everyone who attended had submitted a picture of their pet and a few words of remembrance that were printed below the pet's picture in the slideshow. I believe there were probably between 50 and 70 pets featured in the slideshow. The photo at the top of this entry was the picture of Sophie that we submitted.
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After the slideshow, we went out to the little garden along the side of the building, and we all placed our stones with the names of our pets there.

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Art and I placed Sophie's stone under the tree. That's it there on the left.

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Here, in the center, after more stones were added. I like to think that she is among "friends."

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You could put your stone anywhere in the garden, but it seems that everyone chose to put it under the tree. I thought that was kind of sweet.

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We had two rocks because they prepared one for each attendee. We placed one in the garden at OSU, and we brought one home to place in our garden here.

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After putting our rock in the garden, we went back inside where we were offered cookies and something to drink, as well as the opportunity to participate in an art project, which was making a memory box. When I RSVP'd that we would be attending the ceremony, they asked how many people would be participating in the art project. I responded that there would be two of us. When I told Art that I had responded for him, he said that he didn't want to participate in the art project, but that he would watch while I did. (I think he was afraid that they were going to have everyone paint their own pet portrait or something....)

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Well, when he got there and saw that the art project consisted of cutting up photos of Sophie that I had brought with us and pasting them on an Altoids box (or other box of your choice, which was provided), he picked up the scissors and snipped and glued and ModPodged like a sport. I would even say that he seemed to enjoy himself.

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He made the box on the right, while I made the one on the left. I like our little boxes a lot. It seems like the perfect place to keep that little snip of fur you always keep when you lose a pet. I like the idea so much that I plan on making them for each of the other dogs I've lost. I wonder if Art will participate at home?

When we finished our boxes, we spoke with Joelle Nielsen, the social worker in charge of the "Honoring the Bond" program. She had organized the program and we wanted to thank her. She is a delightful person whom we had met before at some art festivals when she stopped by my booth. Then we headed  home.

It was a very nice program and it served an important purpose. I think that when other people acknowledge the loss of a pet as genuine and deep, it validates the grief you are experiencing. So I really appreciate Ohio State for doing that. It also gave me a chance to really experience the grief of losing Sophie. I mean, I do and I have every day since she died, but right at the time it happened there was a lot going on with my dad being hospitalized and having complications following his own surgery, and I don't think I absorbed the loss in a way that I needed to at the time. I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to experience the remembrance ceremony for Sophie. I will never stop missing her.
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All images and designs are copyrighted and the property of Dana Keating Marziale and may not be used or reproduced without express written permission. Copyright 2011